Hi everyone! My name is Teri and I will be blogging on being a SURVIVOR of Domestic violence.
Note I said SURVIVOR. Not a victim.
I have three kids, my oldest two from an emotionally abusive marriage which ended almost 20 years ago. My oldest son is 22, my daughter 18 and expecting my first grandchild in a couple of months.
When I left my husband, I swore I would never marry again. I needed to learn to be on my own and love myself before I could get involved with anyone else.
About six years ago I met my youngest sons father. He is a text book narcissist and physical abuser. I was beaten three times. First while he was holding our then four month old son on Christmas night. The second time was the night before he was taking our son to Texas for his sisters wedding. Obviously, he didn’t want me to be able to leave the house while he was gone.
The third, and final time, was about two weeks before our sons first birthday. This was the time I was almost killed. I woke up in the middle o the night on the floor where he was sitting on top of me beating me about the face with my iPhone. All for re-adding two of my best friends on Facebook. He knew they were trying to convince me to leave him. I actually had moved out, to a new apartment, but he “had nowhere to live” so I gave in and let him stay with us. After I lost consciousness from a severely broken nose, he woke me up by slapping me. When I came to, he started choking me. I’m not sure what made him stop. But I’m thankful he did. He put me in the shower to clean up any evidence.
Each time he hit me, I would call in sick at work. They finally got fed up with the days and weeks I missed. I finally broke down after the last time and told them. They told me if I didn’t report him to the police that I would lose my very well paying job of over 23 years. I did. He was arrested. Spent about eight months in jail.
I have subsequently lost said job because mentally I was still recovering. I still am. I have PTSD and suffer from panic attacks. I’m in counseling and am currently taking meds.
It’s amazing how a smack to the face can change your life in a heartbeat. Everything crumbles.
This is my story of how I’m building my life back oh so slowly. Sometimes it’s frustrating how slow the progress is. But I’m safe, my son is a wonderful balanced four year old who is also safe. Violence is an evil cycle. I knew I had to break that and remove my son from witnessing that. I will not raise an abuser.
I welcome any questions as I do truly believe that I am a survivor for one reason. And that is to help others who are in this situation.